check out that tye dye...
but i could fix that sad expression. i should have been on top of these things, right? i wanted to make tye dye shirts when we were camping this summer anyway, so in a round about way it is my fault that they are not already prepared, right? and tye dye is easy, right? i knew i could make due with a little bleach and some black dye i was planning to use on a sweater i wanted to love again. and he would remember this always, right? and he would be thankful because i stayed up late, right? and even though tony said that i am being "over the top", i know my son and he will love that i made something special just for him. and how nice it will be for him to wake up thinking he wouldn't be pepped up for spirit, but then all ninja like there the shirt would be, pep-pep-peppy and complete with spirit fingers supplied by me, right?
or maybe he would wake up, take one look at the shirt and say, "you could have let me make that. you know i like to do crafts like that".
what the what what?!?!
did that really just happen?
no, "thank you". no, "it looks nice". did i mention no, "thank you"?
i have been fretting over this all day. i told him that when he doesn't say thank you that it hurts my feelings and that i don't feel appreciated.
he said he was sorry.
he said he was sorry.
yes, i said that twice because...well, because it is important for me to remember. because otherwise i keep dwelling on the fact that there is a real possibility that, one-i am raising a self centered, entitled, brat, or two-that i am taking all of this way too seriously because i put way too much pressure on the importance of this silly (albeit cute) shirt's potential to help aidan feel how much he is loved.
i have not decided what the answer is yet.
should i stop trying to turn every sad face upside down?
should i stop trying to do everything so maybe they will appreciate the little things?
or is all about my expectations? should i not have expected a thank you?
i didn't think i did it for a thank you, i thought i did it to make him smile. but maybe i did do it because i want my children to know i would move mountains for them. and i would too. but if they do think that, will they never work to scale a mountain on their own?
see what i mean?
parenting is hard.