Wednesday, April 24, 2013

i feel like...

like i should post something.  anything.  stuff is happening, and stuffs about to happen, but my words aren't working, you know?

did you hear that?  pssshhtt.  someone reading this is saying, "dude, your words never work." 
ya ya ya.  i know.  but there are these thoughts that i just have to get out.  these pictures that i just have to keep safe.  these experiences that i never want to forget.  and this need to make it all sound pretty and cohesive.

it's not though.  it's not pretty and it's not cohesive.  it is just the jumble of feelings i have.

i feel fortunate that my kids leave little surprises for me.  like towers of duct tape and weird pictures on my phone of ice cream creations. 

i feel satisfied by these little projects that are getting checked off.  like these rainbow chairs that have a new life born in shiny avocado green.

and aidan's platform bed that is spurring a new gray paint job in his room and a little staining action on his of the actual room to come, but for now you get a picture of me crammed up next to the mdf it took to make the bed.

i feel sheer joy at the warming temperatures and all of the happiness the sunshine brings.  like this.

i feel calm and fulfilled and loved when tony brings me a cup of coffee in the morning.  except this morning when i snapped at him and told him he didn't love me because he didn't put my toast in the toaster.  sorry babe.  i didn't mean it.  i know i mumbled.  but most mornings i feel calm and fulfilled and loved.  and i have taken to curling up on the chair that has made it's way into our bathroom to sit and enjoy the morning stillness.  and this cat. 

 and mostly i feel like i am waiting.

Thursday, April 18, 2013

there it is again

that little feeling starting to take hold.  the one that says it's time to go, go , go. 
i know it is the feeling of spring.  it happens every year. 

but this morning when i heard a plane overhead as i was getting ready i could hardly contain my flight response. 

so i did what i always do.  i went to my favorites list on my weather app and mentally pictured myself hearding my little family through Seville, Spain.  a beautiful 84 degrees would be warmth to my restless soul.  oh and it is a sunny 63 in Paris, France.  maybe we would bike and take a picnic?  Santiago, Chile is calling our names.  i'd be down with a dance in the rain when it is 81 degrees in San Jose, Costa Rica.  A high of 81 sounds just lovely for strolling through the market.  a clear blue sky in Tangier, Morocco would be perfect weather to tour churches, don't you think? 

but instead i am living it up in sunny Pasco, WA where the day calls for a CO2 lab in all five classes, probably some salmon for dinner and then aidan, tony and i will snuggle up for a 'summer to do'
presentation that nadia has been working on.  i'll take it. 

and now for a unrelated but kinda related because if you stretch your mind anything can connect and we did have to travel afterall picture...
aidan on a field trip to central with his mama and her classes. 

Monday, April 15, 2013

so this is monday...

oh monday, i kinda loathe you.  shall i count the ways?

number 1: margo exploded all over the office.  like sicky puppy poopies ground into carpet exploded.  like create an odor that might raise the dead and i am certain is sticking to everything i own exploded. 

ok, really, besides it being a typical monday morning and having to face the realities of work and non-yoga-type pants, that is it.

but seriously, do you need any more reason to loathe a monday?

Tuesday, April 9, 2013

why i teach

students ask me all of the time why i teach.  like it is such a ludicrous thing to do.  who would ever want to do that, they say.  not with words, but with their faces all scrunched up in half horror, half disgust. 

adults ask me all of the time.  usually it is quickly followed by, oh you're brave, by which they really mean you are really stupid. 

and today in an allllllldddaaaaayyyyy meeting of scientists and administrators and college reps and community reps they asked a different question.  Did you imagine this is what you would be doing when you grew up? 


i didn't line up my toys and teach them to read.  i didn't dream of having my own chalkboard.  i didn't organize learning stations around my bedroom.  the closest i came was hoarding all of the books i could find in my house, labeling them and making my own library checkout system.  that wasn't for instruction, that was simply my compulsive organizing. when my high school aptitude test came back with my top three career choices as meteorologist, psychologist and teacher, i laughed.   like a, yea right, teach?  me?  i'm sure my teacher thought the exact same thing. 
those little white things are termites.  i'm a science teacher.  sometimes i do things that are gross.

i didn't laugh all day today.  not a chuckle.  not a giggle.  not even a wry smile.  an entire day without laughter! 

and that is why i teach.  kids make me laugh every single day.  even on the worst days where my lesson sucks, my head hurts, i feel like i am being swallowed whole by papers and every person in the room wants to talk at the same time; someone will make me laugh. 
like yesterday when a kid innocently reads orgasm instead of organism out loud. 

and that is how i want to live my life; with laughter!  even if it is sophomoric humor, i crave laughter. 

Monday, April 8, 2013

it's over

i feel like i should have something to say about this last 60 days being done, but there it is, it's just done. 

tony and i have been getting up at 4:30inthemotherbleepingmorning to do the insanity workout.  4:30.  that does some messed up things to a girl who goes to bed at 9 pm nearly every night because she needs her sleep. 

we got up.  we worked out haaaaaaard.  i missed two days while in dc, but still put in a few miles on the treadmill.  tony did the workout every single stinking day. 

and then it was over. 
shaun t didn't even say goodbye.
no, 'i was in it with you'; no, 'way to go.  you sure did dig deeper'; no, 'just so you know i think your side to side jumps were way better than tania's'...
 he just fizzled off the screen like it was any other fit test. 

my results were meh.  i got stronger, but i won't be posting any before and afters.  tony lost 5 inches from his waist.   5 whole inches people.  he'd kill our internet service if i posted a picture, so you won't see his results either.  i can't post pictures of our workout either because we are mostly in our underoos and really sweaty and no one needs to see that...

but we are done.  i don't know what i will do with myself between the hours of 4:30 and 6 am...
oh wait, yes i do.  i will be asleep.  hold my calls please. 

Thursday, April 4, 2013

well into spring break

and it is spring break, not SPRING BREAK!!!  we are taking it slow.
just a bunch of misfits hanging out around the house mostly.

in fact, today, thursday, 3 whole 5ths of the way through this thing, is the first day i have gotten dressed.  i know, even i am surprised i'm dressed.

and by dressed i mean i exchanged my yoga pants for jeans, my flip flops for toms and put on a pair of earrings.  not real earrings.  just the kind that you slide through.  i couldn't be bothered with backs and latches.  we are embracing the 'break' part wholeheartedly afterall.  it only lasted the 3 hours it took to go to the orthodontist, meet a couple of cuties at the library and then rock the chocolate covered pretzel with peanut butter blizzard i snarfed after lunch. 

and oh my deliciousness it was good-the company and the dq... but then it was back to home and (oh so happy i had to dance about it) back to my leopard pj's pants. 

and we have lounged only a little, really.  we spent a day loving on some lambs and pretending to be of some sort of help. 

and we did spend one whole day cleaning the garage.  like deeeeeeeeep cleaning.   like 24 totes and breaking out the label maker cleaning.  ok, so we won't label until saturday, but things are orderly and we have stuff ready to find a new home. tony seemed equal parts relieved as to how things shaped up and confused as to how we accumulated so much.

and we (meaning me) have relaxed on the rules a titch and let the kitchen become a roller rink -even during peak cooking times.  i still make the kids run on the treadmill to earn time for video games.  i use the term 'make' loosely.  i wish i loved that machine as much as they do. 

and we still have big plans ahead of us.  a day trip maybe?  a nook class? who knows...


Monday, April 1, 2013

the finest spring has to offer

it looks like a set of monkey bars when you stick a couple of kids on it, but it is really an arbor.  and not just any arbor.  it is an arbor that my dad made for my wedding many moons ago and has been holding steady as a trellis in my parents front yard.  they moved it off to the side yard in the perfect place for inspiration to set in.  while my mom and i sat in lawn chairs chatting it up and offering occasional advice to my dad, brother and tony who were framing a shed in the back yard, the kids decided the arbor was a multi-play-thing that needed to have it's limits tested.  after climbing it and doing the monkey bar thing, they whipped out a pocket knife, cut the sleeves off of their shirts and made a swing out of it.  seriously. 

and that, my fine feathered friends, along with some pulled pork and chips, is how we celebrated easter annnnnnnnnnnnnnddddd my super dad's super 71st birthday. 
it was the best spring day i've had in years.