Sunday, December 23, 2012

the happiest season of all

happy for a break.
happy for time with each other.
happy to make memories with cousins near and far.
happy to get time with grandparents who make our kids feel loved.
happy to stuff some stockings and happy to stuff our faces.

and happily wishing you a very merry christmas.

Monday, December 17, 2012

festivus of tony

great friends shared with us the idea of a birthday week, rather than just a day. 

celebrate tony for more than one day?  i'm in.

and a tradition of the festivus of tony begins.  and not a moment too soon.  this guy is 36 years old!

and we love every single thing about him...
his generous heart,
his handiness,
his contagious laughter,

and most of all, we love him for the way he loves us.

happy birthday tony.
melanie, aidan, nadia, spark, margo, gordo, eclipse, razor, all the quail you feed in the backyard, the future reindeer and the lonely little betta.

where tragedy takes us

we have been walking around with heavy hearts since friday's sandyhook tragedy. 

we are trying to find the lessons in all of this, the sense in all of this, the something that will set things right.  i know we all are. 
tony and i look at each other and find a surge of love.  we look at our children and surge again.  we look at a child in a cart at the grocery store, and there it is again.  we put together our teacher gifts, and again our hearts surge.  and we see the pictures of the lost and focus our energy there.  i refuse to hear anything about the man that did this.  tragedy has taken us away from the sensationalism.  it has taken us closer to home.  tragedy takes us to find those who helped, those who saved and to comfort those who lost, including all those who lost their innocence.

like many have said before, and i pray that is what prevails, i hope humanity focuses our love and attention on the victims.

it's a delicate thing.  it's not our tragedy, but it is.  it is all of ours. 
we have faith that a focus on love, a focus on loss, a focus on life, will carry us through. 

Thursday, December 6, 2012

older is fun too

remember when they were four?  i loved four.  sometimes i wish for four.  all of the questions.  all of the curiosity. 
but at four, they don't get your jokes and they don't joke around with you. 
at four, they could give a giant crappola about world events and economy and war and chloroplasts (unless a certain someone happens to tell them about starving children who don't get chocolate milk and don't have homes). 
then they care, but they don't really get it.

at nine and eleven they get your jokes.  even when you don't want them too.
big enough to empty the dishwasher....score!
they are big enough to give you 3 second piggy back rides.

when you have a bad day at work because of a bunch of meenie poo poo heads, they wrap their arms around you tight and say, "tell me all about it mom".   and then they listen.  like really listen.
i love that. 

Monday, December 3, 2012

what i want for my children

i read this article, that i got from here, had me reflecting all over the place. messily reflecting too. like a few snot-sobs and heart-clenches because if i had to pick just one thing, it would be that my children grow up to ?????
but what?
what do i really want for them? 

i used to say i didn't want my kids to grow up to be jerks.  ok, really what i did was beg the powers that be to please not let my children grow up to be a-holes someday.
then i started hearing all the mumbo jumbo (that i really do buy into) about sending positive energy out into the world.  no more putting those negatives out there to percolate and make something of their not-so-positive selves. 

so here it is. in working document form-
i positively want my kids to::: 

:::accept responsibility for their impact on this world. 
there are a lot of opportunities to screw things up in this life.  to that end, i want them to know how to ask for forgiveness, give forgiveness and make amends.

:::speak up for those that don't have a voice. 
animals and people alike.  they should expect kindness and i hope they strive to treat all beings with empathy and understanding.  walk a mile in another's shoes.

:::lend a hand.
whenever they can, help.  without asking, without expecting a return.  small things, big things, all of it shows love.  i want them to know that every time they help someone, they are freeing that person from a burden, if even a small one, if even just holding a door while offering a smile or if even just picking up spilled papers.  sometimes it means giving that person the motivation to keep going.  sometimes it is giving themselves the motivation to keep going.

:::always be on a quest to learn. 
actively learn.  about themselves, about others, about the world, about learning, and learn about silly things and science things, and artistic things and philosophical things.  i want them to feel full filled in their brains.  i want them to know that if they are open to learning then they are open to making this world a better place.  lofty, i know.  but if not them, then who? 

:::feel loved.
that simple. 

so that's it.  for now. 
i hope to revisit this one, add on if i see the need.  i hope to see what wishes tony wants for these two.  won't it be wonderful if putting my wants out there works?  i feel like it might. 

put it out there.
revisit it to make sure i am nurturing these things.
have children who make a difference in their own world.

seems plausible.
i hope. i hope. i hope.