speaking of lucky

this girl needs to buy herself a lottery ticket.
she is a lucky little thing, that one. 

here's the short version...

not only does she have parents who love her to the end of the earth and the internet, but she also has neighbors watching out for her cat-loving heart.

wahh-what?
here's the longer version...

nani is lucky in that she doesn't worry about all of the little stuff.  she lets all of the things in life that send most of us to the brink of sanity just blow past her in the breeze.  often we see nadia as just having her head in the clouds- off in nani-la-la land- but maybe it is just that she is so very focused on the things that matter most- her family, friends, pets and lovies- that she just doesn't bother with the rest.
lucky, and wise beyond her years. 

which brings us to five very long years ago when nadia's very best lovey went missing.  she is convinced that someone sneaked into our home and stole her beloved cori doll.  i am pretty sure we left it somewhere.  seeing our carefree nani-b hurt over losing her baby broke our hearts in a surreal and irrational way.  we have found her crying in a heap in her room at odd intervals over the years about her baby, hugging a picture of her and cori.  and when i say we have found her, i mean i found her like this a month ago.  we continue to search every toys r us and target for a replacement, even though we contacted mattel and knew that they discontinued k9094 years ago. 

another stroke of luck for that girl is that she was was born with a long memory and a tenacious spirit.  she wasn't letting go.  so tony and i revived our search for a cori replacement and found one! 

when cori arrived in the mail (thank you ebay and florida woman for seeing her for the value she has) i immediately put laundry and when tony got home we sent nadia up to get the clean clothes out of the dryer.  she was in shock and disbelief! but most importantly she is happy and knows that she is loved.

and then you know the sad tale of the missing gordo.  well that little opportunist has been hanging out with the neighbors, feasting on their cats' food, vying for attention and sleeping in the barn, for the past few weeks.  i'm not sure if it is because he was sticking it to the man (the man being tony) after being put out for the day because he pooped square in the middle of our bed or if he his little itty bitty brain couldn't figure out how to get back across the fence.  seriously, it is probably the latter. 

she is lucky our neighbors' are good people.  good people who look out for stray fat cats and keep them safe.  good people who hug fat cats goodbye and hand them over to sweet faced little girls without hesitation. 

13 is a very lucky number

happy anniversary to my schmegalist schmegal,  loviest love. 

we were married on the 13th of may, just 13 years ago today.  i love him more today than i ever thought possible.  we spent this past weekend relaxing on an overnight get away.  it wasn't extravagant.  it wasn't fancy.  we didn't eat in a restaurant the entire trip. we walked and talked and he even ran with me.  but it wasn't out of the ordinary even.  but it was perfectly us.  we reflected a lot on why 'we' work and why 'we' are lucky and if it's luck at all or just hard work and decided we really don't know. 

but i want to know. 
i want to know how to prescribe this, this, -whatever it is-, that is so incredibly perfect for the two of us.  i want our children to know this kind of love. the kind that is so indescribable that we make up silly words for it because a word isn't enough.  the kind of love that isn't easy, that isn't always pretty, that isn't always patient, the kind that makes you believe in yourself just a little bit more and the love that can be the kind of irritating that sinks to the marrow of your bones, but is always just deeply, empoweringly there.  i still don't know if it's luck, or biochemical responses, or work, or fate, but i know i wouldn't change a day of it if it meant changing what we have now. 

i asked tony this morning about his thoughts on the past 13 years. he said it's kinda like the stock market.  the trend is always up, there may be dips now and then but it is in those downfalls that you need to invest.  that is when you will see the biggest return on investment. 

brilliant.

cats and muu muus

let's start with muu muus.  it is an easier topic to tackle.  honestly, there is not a topic here and nothing to tackle.  i just love wearing muu muus and feel like i need to publicly declare it.  so there it is. 

eclipse and the yellow muu muu

gordo and the hawaiian muu muu

as for cats.  i love them.  all of them.  this is not new information, but lately we have had some kitty hardships.  gordo left us.  nadia is broken hearted.  i am broken hearted for her and for me.  he was my little morning buddy.  we don't know where he has gone and can only hope that he isn't hungry.  if you see him, let him know we love him and his lounging chair is ready for him.

who wouldn't miss this guy?

 

i feel like...

like i should post something.  anything.  stuff is happening, and stuffs about to happen, but my words aren't working, you know?

did you hear that?  pssshhtt.  someone reading this is saying, "dude, your words never work." 
ya ya ya.  i know.  but there are these thoughts that i just have to get out.  these pictures that i just have to keep safe.  these experiences that i never want to forget.  and this need to make it all sound pretty and cohesive.

it's not though.  it's not pretty and it's not cohesive.  it is just the jumble of feelings i have.

i feel fortunate that my kids leave little surprises for me.  like towers of duct tape and weird pictures on my phone of ice cream creations. 

i feel satisfied by these little projects that are getting checked off.  like these rainbow chairs that have a new life born in shiny avocado green.

and aidan's platform bed that is spurring a new gray paint job in his room and a little staining action on his dresser...pictures of the actual room to come, but for now you get a picture of me crammed up next to the mdf it took to make the bed.

i feel sheer joy at the warming temperatures and all of the happiness the sunshine brings.  like this.

i feel calm and fulfilled and loved when tony brings me a cup of coffee in the morning.  except this morning when i snapped at him and told him he didn't love me because he didn't put my toast in the toaster.  sorry babe.  i didn't mean it.  i know i mumbled.  but most mornings i feel calm and fulfilled and loved.  and i have taken to curling up on the chair that has made it's way into our bathroom to sit and enjoy the morning stillness.  and this cat. 

  

 and mostly i feel like i am waiting.

there it is again

that little feeling starting to take hold.  the one that says it's time to go, go , go. 
i know it is the feeling of spring.  it happens every year. 

but this morning when i heard a plane overhead as i was getting ready i could hardly contain my flight response. 

so i did what i always do.  i went to my favorites list on my weather app and mentally pictured myself hearding my little family through Seville, Spain.  a beautiful 84 degrees would be warmth to my restless soul.  oh and it is a sunny 63 in Paris, France.  maybe we would bike and take a picnic?  Santiago, Chile is calling our names.  i'd be down with a dance in the rain when it is 81 degrees in San Jose, Costa Rica.  A high of 81 sounds just lovely for strolling through the market.  a clear blue sky in Tangier, Morocco would be perfect weather to tour churches, don't you think? 

but instead i am living it up in sunny Pasco, WA where the day calls for a CO2 lab in all five classes, probably some salmon for dinner and then aidan, tony and i will snuggle up for a 'summer to do'
presentation that nadia has been working on.  i'll take it. 


and now for a unrelated but kinda related because if you stretch your mind anything can connect and we did have to travel afterall picture...
phew...
aidan on a field trip to central with his mama and her classes. 

so this is monday...

oh monday, i kinda loathe you.  shall i count the ways?

number 1: margo exploded all over the office.  like sicky puppy poopies ground into carpet exploded.  like create an odor that might raise the dead and i am certain is sticking to everything i own exploded. 

ok, really, besides it being a typical monday morning and having to face the realities of work and non-yoga-type pants, that is it.

but seriously, do you need any more reason to loathe a monday?

why i teach

students ask me all of the time why i teach.  like it is such a ludicrous thing to do.  who would ever want to do that, they say.  not with words, but with their faces all scrunched up in half horror, half disgust. 

adults ask me all of the time.  usually it is quickly followed by, oh you're brave, by which they really mean you are really stupid. 

and today in an allllllldddaaaaayyyyy meeting of scientists and administrators and college reps and community reps they asked a different question.  Did you imagine this is what you would be doing when you grew up? 

never. 

i didn't line up my toys and teach them to read.  i didn't dream of having my own chalkboard.  i didn't organize learning stations around my bedroom.  the closest i came was hoarding all of the books i could find in my house, labeling them and making my own library checkout system.  that wasn't for instruction, that was simply my compulsive organizing. when my high school aptitude test came back with my top three career choices as meteorologist, psychologist and teacher, i laughed.   like a, yea right, teach?  me?  i'm sure my teacher thought the exact same thing. 

those little white things are termites.  i'm a science teacher.  sometimes i do things that are gross.

i didn't laugh all day today.  not a chuckle.  not a giggle.  not even a wry smile.  an entire day without laughter! 

and that is why i teach.  kids make me laugh every single day.  even on the worst days where my lesson sucks, my head hurts, i feel like i am being swallowed whole by papers and every person in the room wants to talk at the same time; someone will make me laugh. 
like yesterday when a kid innocently reads orgasm instead of organism out loud. 

and that is how i want to live my life; with laughter!  even if it is sophomoric humor, i crave laughter.