pondering scary and sexy

I was talking with my good friend Sara yesterday as she travels down through California on a road trip with whom I refer to as "the perfect fit, awesomeness that is Trevor". Actually, I have never referred to him as that, but I should. He is the yin to her yang or maybe she is the yin and he the yang or maybe I should not use references to cultural icons that I have no knowledge of. But I digress. It is a quite simply an easy thing to watch, the two of them that is.

At this point you may be wondering, so is Sara scary or sexy and what does that leave Trevor with? The title is not about them. The title refers to Sara and my conversation about Disney of all things. Yes it has been said that cartoons are disproportionately drawn. Saying it does not change what it is. Yes many a mother has worried that seeing one too many villain will call their children from there own mini bed smack in the middle of mom and dad for nights on end. Yes it has been dually noted that children should be de-briefed about what may be too much, either scary or sexy or too much potty humor for that matter. And yes it has been said that maybe children should not see such movies at all. Our conversation revolved mostly about men. Yes, men. I am not a male-basher by any means. I love the men in my life. I have the worlds best husband. I do not say that loosely. He really is. There is a number (do not ask me what it is) of times that something is said by a parallel number of people that it transitions from mere opinion to fact. An example; Tony is the worlds best husband. I have a dad that loves me, always has, and that is all I ask for. I have a terrific brother who is a great listener and is incredibly funny. I have Aidan who is teaching me about boys and how all of their odd intricacies evolve into masculine qualities that we find humor and frustration with.

Hopefully, I have prefaced this enough not to offend the whole male population, but I came to a revelation while talking with Sara. She had mentioned how scary Disney can be. And yes, scanning the list, the best stories have an element of fear or villain to elicit excitement. But as her sister Lisa had noted, one of the common ways to scare children is to eliminate the mom. Nemo, Beauty and the Beast, Cinderella, Little Mermaid, to name a few, kill off the mother. Yes these are fairy tales, just stories, I know. But what does that say about moms that the ultimate pain to a child is to kill her off? Are men responsible for this? Is this an expression of insecurity from Dads? Does this engage fathers more, or children more? What is the purpose of this particular scare factor?

As for the sex factor, we concluded that this is how Disney ropes dads in to spend 118 minutes with their children and have something to talk about afterward. Hopefully they are not spending their de-briefing time discussing cup size to waist size ratios, but it will help solidify the events in the visually stimulated half of the species. Because, really, IS there a need to have female characters depicted in this unattainable way? Really? What scientifically supported benefit does it have to children? Granted my claims are not science, they are just thoughts, ponderings if you will to possibly build a hypothesis.

Mulan is the exception that proves the rule. She has not only a mother who is happily fulfilling the role, but a grandmother as well who cares for her. She is even one of the most memorable characters. Mulan is a heroin, albeit covertly as a hero. Mulan is not stacked like the other sexy princesses and you may notice is not usually included in all the Princess merchandising. Few shirts, backpacks, tea sets, birthday party balloons (and the list goes on) include her. But Mulan is a great movie. It does have excitement, intrigue, examples of determination, humor, sacrifice and even love. It is a fantastic movie, but rarely the number one pick of children. Again, something to ponder.

Now I do not think men are completely at fault. However I do believe blame originates with men and possibly it is a biological thing not a psychological thing. It is then perpetuated by women (and our baggage). Is there a solution? Will I never again allow Aidan and Nadia to watch Disney? Will I create my own paper cutouts to cover the endowed bodies and dance them across the screen during the movie? Will I bleep out the potty humor with loud renditions of 'When the Saints Go Marching In'? Will I lie about the whereabouts of the moms to ease their fears? Will I cancel our trip to Disney World next year? Will I never again sing and dance to 'Under the Sea"? Of course not. But I will continue to be aware, not to hound the negatives but to stress the positives of literature and film with BOTH Aidan and Nadia. Hopefully, there will continue to be shift in awareness and we will have more Mulans in our future.

Ponder on!