happy anniversary to my schmegalist schmegal, loviest love.
we were married on the 13th of may, just 13 years ago today. i love him more today than i ever thought possible. we spent this past weekend relaxing on an overnight get away. it wasn't extravagant. it wasn't fancy. we didn't eat in a restaurant the entire trip. we walked and talked and he even ran with me. but it wasn't out of the ordinary even. but it was perfectly us. we reflected a lot on why 'we' work and why 'we' are lucky and if it's luck at all or just hard work and decided we really don't know.
but i want to know.
i want to know how to prescribe this, this, -whatever it is-, that is so incredibly perfect for the two of us. i want our children to know this kind of love. the kind that is so indescribable that we make up silly words for it because a word isn't enough. the kind of love that isn't easy, that isn't always pretty, that isn't always patient, the kind that makes you believe in yourself just a little bit more and the love that can be the kind of irritating that sinks to the marrow of your bones, but is always just deeply, empoweringly there. i still don't know if it's luck, or biochemical responses, or work, or fate, but i know i wouldn't change a day of it if it meant changing what we have now.
i asked tony this morning about his thoughts on the past 13 years. he said it's kinda like the stock market. the trend is always up, there may be dips now and then but it is in those downfalls that you need to invest. that is when you will see the biggest return on investment.