memories

I have a terrible memory. A terrible auditory memory anyway. I have a fantastic memory of faces. I rock at the 'what-other-movie-did-that-guy-play-in' game...sort of. I can tell you the other movie or show's story line, the personalities, the co-stars, the setting even, but if the rule states that I have to recall either the actor's name or the movie name then I stink. I can remember the who and the where of my experiences, but not the 'what was said'. To be truthful, sometimes the what happened is a little fuzzy too.

But there are times when I have what I can only describe as a burst in my mind that says remember every single second of this, remember every sequence of events, remember every whisper. My first kiss with Tony was that way. This surge told me that this was a moment to remember. I remember exactly where we were, what I was wearing and even the movie line he quoted and my lame-o response. Everything.

But there are so many times where I am not present in the moment enough to realize that this is a memory I need to tuck away for safe keeping. One that I need to preserve for all time. Lately we have revived the nightly lullaby, our own take on Hush Little Baby that Tony and I began out of necessity at the coinciding birth of Aidan and his insomnia. Tony and I take turns ending each verse with a word that the other has to pick up a rhyme to. Verses are often laced with precious trinkets of childhood and sadly our maturity level just as often brings about descriptions gifting our child with some animal's dung or tellings of rotten cotton. As I watched him, eyes pressed closed, mouth smiling or contorting in indignation as he responded to each verse, that burst told me that I needed this memory. This memory and Nadia's reaction. She too enjoys hearing her own edition, but being the natural poet that she is, she chimes in when she has a better, more appropriate verse. I know that these times are not going to last and I hope that my mind is able to protect these images from the fading of time. I hope I can recreate these moments through story so Nadia and Aidan are able to glimpse back into the faces of their childhood.