Two reasons that made me smile yesterday.
As for the hair, it was a long time a-coming. I have been under a great deal of stress lately because the left side of my hair has been just a little too poofy and the right side looks like someone put ticky-tack under my strands to stick them to the side of my head. The back of my hair was having it's own internal tug of war trying to choose a flip out or flip under look. Don't even get me started on the gray versus blond controversy going on at the part of my bangs. All of this action going on atop one person's crown was enough to drive anyone into the depths of an anxiety-ridden, sleepless, over committed hair depression. Tony has expressed concern over and over again about the copious glob of hair left behind after each shampoo. Aidan has been so concerned that he asked if he can collect said glob so he can stitch together a wig for his poor balding mother. I was completely out of balance. I had support from my awesome hairstylist Crystal. She gave advice, expressed concern for my hair's inclination to take on too many styles all at once and provided moral support. My friends and family offered suggestions on how to tame the chaos. My children patiently waited each morning as I tried to coax the mass into some semblance of a hair-do. I exhausted my arsenal of coif products, trying to use each to its full potential, trying in vain to strike some sort of balance. I woke each morning with the determination to take each snarl on with patience and focus. I asked for the strength to find peace in the outcome and grace to cope with the constructive criticism and optimism of those around me as they rallied for the good hair day that no one could predict would come today, tomorrow or even if I would have to wait a whole year.
And then I woke up yesterday, with my stomach in the same knot it has come to know for the past year and a half. I breathed deeply trying to calm my racing heart with anticipation of what the day would bring.
Would my hair let me down?
Would this stressful, twisted, all-encompassing trial end today?
Then it happened. I washed, I rinsed, I added root boost and blew it dry. I willed myself the strength to look at the results. Every strand fell into place, the left was not too poofy and the right had just the right amount of spunk. The back did this alternating cute-kind-of-messy-out-then-in thing that resulted in a score that was good even if it wasn't perfect. The gray vs. blond battle concealed itself by parting at just the right angle. There was still a lot of lost hairs not unlike the lost sleep and precious moments that lead up to this but every hair that remained was healthy and shiny. My reflection said I was ready to take on the day and for the first time since the stress began I felt free enough to agree.
The hair-saga was not unlike the work, disappointment, sacrifice, anxiety and stomach-wrenching, exhaustion that went into completing my national board certification. It too turned out OK. I had support and encouragement from more people than I could appreciate at the time. I worked hard, but these people made it possible. Tony deserves some sort of award for the tireless work he put in for me and our family.
I passed. I didn't suck like a rotten egg on the assessment center as I had predicted. I did great on my entries, but it wasn't perfect.
And we are all still here, we are all still healthy and we are all shiny.
me, sassy and serious, but deliriously relieved,
holding the print off that says,
you should thank all of the people around you that put up with you
while you became Nationally Board Certified.