Wednesday, October 21, 2009

toilets, urinals and such

I have lost my voice, most of it anyway. When the whisper of my vocal cords decides to catch mid syllable, always mid syllable, my voice sounds exactly like the flushing toilet in our last house when there was sand trapped in the tank. It may not register at the same decibel level, but I do think I have nailed the screeching-witch-like pitch.

Aidan has learned a crafty use for school toilets and it goes a little something like this: see toilet, remember school is boring, insert vomit, go home for the rest of the afternoon. The good news is that he is wicked-smart, I have the grandmotherly-sweet school nurse as a second opinion. Oh to be just eight and to have already mastered how to get around the mundane-ness of elementary education. What he hadn't counted on is a mother who has "been there, done that, and now knows how to sleuth out a malingerer", or the community service that faking an illness will earn you.

I have learned that in certain restaurants, hotels and the like they put ice in the men’s urinals. Why did it take me 32 years of life to learn this? 1. I am not a man so I don’t frequent men’s restrooms. 2. I have never thought to ask, I assumed the fanciest thing in a men’s restroom might be little bedazzled dividers so men don’t have to abide by the ‘leave a urinal between’ rule. 3. Again, I am not a man, so no where in my little mind is there room for the idea of making peeing a recreational sport.

I now have a new (soon to be ex) classroom pet. He (I am choosing to believe he is a he but it takes a professional herper to properly 'probe' a snake to learn it's sex) is a bullsnake. Snakes eat mice. I like mice. I don't want to watch a snake eat something that I think is cute. Ergo, snake will be finding a new home. How does this relate to toilets? He is the victim of a high school prank cleverly called 'put a snake in the bathroom and see who screams'.

Tony just shared with me that at his work the wall that separates the men's urinals and the women's loo is paper thin. We're talking thin enough to hear zippers people! That is just creepy.

I wanted to give a coworker a swirly when they sent a messenger to ask me if I planned on making it a habit of meeting the needs of my class of students who were begging to be educated and meeting student's need for photocopied materials come between said coworker and their coffee break. Ok maybe it didn't happen just like that, but seriously, what is the big deal if a student respectfully walks into the open teacher lounge (one of 4!), quietly copies a paper, and then quickly walks back to class? Are the adults so afraid that the student will divulge all of the faculty secrets they were gossiping about or is it that they are afraid that they were just caught not doing their job, you know the one where they were suppose to be in their classrooms helping young minds reach their potential? Wow! That felt way better than a swirly!

I find it curious that weekly we have a pink ring of fungi around the water-line in one of our toilets. What does the pink mold have against the other potties? Why pink? I am not complaining because who would want green, or even brown mold in their can?


Bella Mente said...

haha, this whole post made my day :)

I too like to try and outsmart the nurse at my school.. :)

and pink rings.. ive seen those in my shower... but never a toilet lol..

and your coworker.. bleh poo on them haha since we are speaking of toilets..I figure that fits quite well!

PRP said...

You are funny. So is Aidan.

Feel better.