happy birthday to my aidan.
what does a mom say about the boy that made her a mom? i love this kid beyond words.
it is an overwhelming feeling when i stop and let myself feel it. one that can only be described as joy. and no, i'm not going to use the 'aidan is a joy to have in class' line like a teacher does when they can't think of anything else to say. and no, for most of us that really know aidan, joyful is not the first adjective you pick to describe him. it's not that superficial. it's not that fluffy. i'm not even going to pretend its all about him.
here's where i'm going with this. you know how people say that only children feel true joy?
that can't be possible.
i never felt the kind of deep-rooted, all-encompassing kind of joy i feel when i see aidan accomplish something he has put his mind to. there are many things that come easy to him. like memorization. ask him some random fact about a reptile and take a seat. you'll need it while he reads from his mental encyclopedia. reading? history? science? rock climbing? forget about it. easy peasy. i can't help but smile at those easy things, but it's those times when he struggles, those times when he gives it his all, those times when he works so hard to improve that brings me true joy. like learning to anticipate someone else's needs. that gift skipped him, but he has been working toward looking for those ques. it is quite ridiculous really. i get all squishy and teary when he simply brings me a glass of water without prompting. he is was born to live in his own head so much that predicting how he might be helpful has had to be learned. and the joy comes from him trying. seeing that it is difficult and continuing to work at it anyway. working at it until it becomes natural.
i love seeing this develop in him. it makes looking forward to him being 11, all tweeny and goofy and farther & farther away from being my little boy, just a little bit easier.