Thursday, November 28, 2013

gobble gobble gobble

It's that time.  I won't bore you with my thankful list. 

It is a hundred million bazillion miles long. 
It is a good list. 
Maybe even a great list. 

I mean, it includes paper turkeys and time and traditions and Tony and my little tadpoles and internet thesaurus too because I couldn't for the life of me think of a T word for my children.  It includes friends and family and fur babies and food too.

And I am thankful for razors and the end of movember.

But that is where I will stop for now. 
Suffice it to say that I am very, very thankful for this very, very blessed life. 

Monday, November 25, 2013

He will never know...

He will never know how much we worry. 

How he occupies so much of our thought and our late night talks. 
How we agonize over the way we say things to this very literal being, knowing that he will hang on to it. 
How we are trying to be the very best for him because he tries to be his very best for us. 
How we tossed and turned while he was on a boy scouting adventure in seven degree temperatures and how I was just sure he was going to freeze. 

How he might never fully understand how much we love him and his laugh and his heart and his brain and his mouthy mouth.

He might never know any of those things, but I hope he feels them. 

Saturday, November 23, 2013

put that one in the books too

Another successful Girls On The Run season came to a close.  The big finale was a toe-numbingly cold Jingle Bell Dash.  Nadia beat her goal.  Mind you, this was a goal she set for herself.  Oh yeah, I have  a 10 year old who sets and meets goals.  That's pretty freaking awesome. 

It's a fantastic program.  We had fantastic coaches.  We had fantastic girls.  And the Jingle Bell Dash was filled with fantastic volunteers, some of the sorority variety even.  Such great examples for our beautifully strong little ladies!  I am so very ready to kick it off again in the spring. 




Tuesday, November 12, 2013

i love it when...

I don't have to get up in the morning but I can't stay in bed because all I want to do is say good morning to Tony.

And then I get to go back to bed.  Yea, that's the best. 

And so are my kids.  They do their morning thing without a peep in my direction because they like to let me sleep in.

And when I do roll out of bed I get the chance to go for a run in the sunshine.  Just a little one, but a good one. 

And I love it when my kids help without complaint.  Folding the mountain of laundry, washing dishes, putting them away and helping with dinner!  They don't know about that last one yet, but I know they will be game.  And I love it when one of them wants to snuggle while the other one is giving up some of his 'day off' to perform a flag ceremony for deserving Vets. 

This is one of those posts where it sounds like I live in a dream.  Sometimes I do, I guess.  Sometimes I have to write it down so I will believe it when I need it.  And sometimes I have to remember to be thankful for a day like today where I get to live it instead of just rush in and out of it.  I am thankful for my job.  I really, really am.  Since I have to work, it really is one of the best gigs around.  But I really love my days home. 

Sunday, November 3, 2013

ready//not ready

Aidan has spent all last weekend away on another scout campout.  I spent all day Friday at WSU on a field trip picturing him fast forwarding through these next 7 years. 

I'm ready to enjoy him growing into his sense of humor.  I'm ready to see him facing challenges like never before, with a sense of maturity and a knowing that he is supposed to have some growing pains.  It kinda amazes me at the calm he has when he talks about his grades and his learning.  While I'm freaking out inside about perfection and future and seizing the day bullcrap, Aidan is saying things like, "it's ok.  I'm learning.  Every day I get more organized.  Everyone has to fall a little before they figure things out".  Yeah.  He really says those things.  Honestly, I thought he would be my anxious one.  And he is, about some things.  But he is calm about learning.  Even when Tony, God love him, is getting all nerdy math on him.  Please, please, please let him stay this way. Even when- especially when- he has to learn something that he can't quite see the value in. 

But I am so not ready to see him grown.  When it is just the three of us I can't shake a coldness, a quietness.  Nadia tries to fill the space and I am grateful for the time with her.  It is just not the same.  We like the normalness of the four of us, the balance of the four of us, the weight of each of us holding our place in this family. We joked about what it will be like when he goes off to school and we have a year with just her and we wondered if we could convince him to wait a year so we could rip the Band-Aid of their leaving off all at once. . .

And then our plan is to follow them around their college campus, park ourselves on their front steps and build ourselves little in law suites at their homes when they are all grown up.  That sounds completely normal and balanced, doesn't it?